all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
