If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
