clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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