So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
