is your mom at the bar?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Randomize
