You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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