he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
