It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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