yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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