that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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