Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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