Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
