They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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