oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
