it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
