will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
