part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
