Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
