Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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