i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
