he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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