I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
