Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
