This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
