i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
