How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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