shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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