It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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