mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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