Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
