its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
