They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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