How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
