Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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