STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
