My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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