ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Alive.
So much puke
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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