Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
