Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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