He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
