Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
