i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
