I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
