I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
