She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
