from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i out mim tonsoeep
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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