i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
