im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
