the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
