So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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