If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
