i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
