what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
