I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
